November 2012 Monthly Quote

Into each day,

put in about

one teaspoonful

of good spirits,

a dash of fun,

a pinch of folly,

a sprinkling of play,

and a heaping cupful

of good humor!

— H.M.S.

This month’s quote is totally dorky. And fun. Doesn’t really resonate with me though.

It’s been a year since my trip to Singapore. It’s been on my mind to write the “One Year Later” post about what I’m thinking and how I feel about the experience. More on that later.

Today is the US Election for our next President. And lots of decisions in Washington State too. Marriage Equality! Legalize Marijuana! Charter Schools! The downside of being strictly mail-in ballot is when things are so close. So close that it really gets down to every single form being counted. Which I’m under “Signature Challenge” right now.

Last week, I was pissed about it. Particularly after I sent a mail inquiring about how I know my vote is counted. The first customer service response indicated needing a real signature and not “a J with a bunch of circles.” Um, excuse me?! That IS my signature thank you very much. I’ve refinanced my house, bought a car and a few other legal documents in the last 9 years since I signed a voter registration card. That response – fire breathing, head ripping How Dare They emotional response. I calmed down. Emailed back, with nice, friendly language about it. The second rep that emailed me back suggested I resubmit a voter registration card to refresh my signature. Won’t help me now, I’m actively tracking that one. And telling everyone I know to go make sure your vote was received and recorded.

On the flip side, I guess the system is working. What if it was voter fraud, what if I was deceased and someone was trying to manipulate a vote. From that perspective – yes, thank for you asking me to resubmit a signature. Please, just don’t be a dick about it.

I’m eager to see the results as I’m sure most of the country feels as well. I’m just as eager to see our own state results!

It’s now 4:53, if you haven’t voted you (in WA state) have 3 hours and 7 minutes to get it in. So go do it!

(stepping off soap box)
(for the second time today)

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Which Madonna Era are you?

Because I’m a TOTAL sucker for online quizzes that place me into some pop culture category…

And I dressed up as “Lucky Star Madonna” for my 40th birthday party!

Your results:
You are 80’s Madonna

80’s Madonna
57%
Mid-80’s Madonna
57%

You treat boys like toys. With your rebellious -punk attitude everyday is a Holiday for you. You must have a Lucky Star, because it shines on you wherever you are!

Click here to take the Madonna Personality Quiz

September & October 2012 Monthly Quote

So, where did September go? And how can it be October 12th already?! The start of this school year has been busier than normal. Plus all the PTA stuff (we are loaded heavy this fall, for fundraising) and kidlet trying out for the play. Plus ramping up to my project launch, Norman having travel and his own client launches. It’s been busy to say the least!

September 2012

Every

Thing

Happens

for a Reason

— American Proverb

I suppose I didn’t write a September post because I was angry at the quote. We had to put our dear Katie Cat to sleep last month. It was somewhat unexpected. She had been sick for awhile, was doing better, and then just took a bad turn. None of us were ready for it, it rocked the family. I still expect to hear and see her when I open the door after a shower (one of her favorite things *ever* was to go drink the shower water, which I think is disgusting beyond belief, but I’m not a cat) It gets easier of course, the grief fades, her spirit is still strong in the house.

I was also floating in and out of being sick – achy, tiredness, slight fever, congestion and blah-de-blah. I’m still a little off, but definitely better than the last few weeks!

October 2012

Insist on

Yourself.

Never

Imitate.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not resonating with the October quote either. I think I insist on myself all the time. Realistically, I know I lapse at times.

I’m working on reconnecting to my health. Illness aside, I let myself go a bit this summer. Not drastically, most people around me did not recognize any shift in my appearance. I could feel it though, my clothes were getting just a hair too tight. I was also drinking and indulging a lot more than I usually do. Enough that I recognized the difference, yet I didn’t care. What snapped me awake? Every October I do my measurements with my trainer to see what kind of progress I make over the year. Last October I had a great showing, had gained muscle and lost body fat. Probably the most fit I have ever been in my life. The thought of facing a slide backwards was not pleasant. I figured, I have 6 weeks to turn it around and get back to the healthy living I’ve grown accustomed. (funny enough, Norman went through a similar realization himself, we both made changes at the same time) My measurements are in two weeks and we’ll see where I end up. I must also remind myself to feel grace and acceptance of wherever I land. So much more important than the numbers on a piece of paper.

The deepest roots of the eating disorder never go away. I would describe it as fading away, losing grip, until a moment of weakness arrives and those roots grow a bit stronger.

Next up – reflecting on my Singapore trip, one year later.

August 2012 Monthly Quote

 

May your

life unfold

smoothly,

with ease.

– Buddhist Prayer –

I had an interesting conversation with my manager today about my next career step. Yes world, I’m on the journey to find my next job!

To this point in my life, I have pretty much “fallen” into roles, companies, projects. I have not really intentionally owned the path I was on. Don’t get me wrong, I was making choices, agreements and commitments to organizations and people. I guess I would say it was more going down the path of least resistance and letting the universe unfold before me.

I’m making a change this time around.

It is incredibly uncomfortable for me.

I’m used to having a plan. Goals and milestones. Knowing when I am on or off track. I’m a control freak. I do not deal well with ambiguity or indecision (although my performance review indicates I do very well with ambiguity in the job)

This time around, I want to find the right fit. I want to join a team or company because I’m passionate about the subject matter. Or the team I would work with is such a stellar group of individuals, they would make work fun (most days). I saw a job description online today titled “Supreme Cat Herder” and I thought – OMG that is ME! I want that on a business card!!

My manager’s feedback is to just accept being uncomfortable. To go on as many informationals as I possibly can in the next few weeks (Microsoftie term to go explore other organizations just to hear about what they do) He said I could go talk to 15 people and may find 3 organizations that I’m attracted to. That I should be open to them being ones I never in my life considered something I would want to be involved with on a day-to-day basis. I should allow the journey to evolve and not consider having an end-state in mind.

Holy fucking shit are you kidding me?!

No – I didn’t say that to him.

I thought about it a hour later. Which prompted me into this post.

I’m uncomfortable. Things are uncertain. I don’t know where I’m going next. I don’t like it. At all.

Yet – in that hour of realization, I felt glimmers of being OK with it. That being uncomfortable may be just what I need right now. A way to stretch myself professionally and personally that may not seem like much to the average bear.

To me, it is feeling like a huge accomplishment! So here I go….

July 2012 Monthly Quote

Here it is the last day of the month, and getting around to the monthly quote.

Be Bold, Free

and Truthful.

– Brenda Ueland –

I could explain it away that I have no energy around it. It hasn’t inspired any thought or subject to contemplate for 31 days (or 19 since I only see it at work).

I feel as though the summer is moving so quickly. July started out famously here in the PNW, then it got chilly. I want my warm afternoons and more time on the deck! In two weeks my baby goes to her first sleep away camp. For a week. I’m excited for the time to be childless and a couple. Also a bit weepy that this is the next phase of her growing up. Maybe next summer she can go spend a week on the east coast with grandparent(s).

I’ve been focused on actually doing things this summer and not get sucked into the comfort of home. So far we have gone to a concert at the zoo, attended the Bainbridge Bluegrass festival and are going to a movie at Marymoor tomorrow night. We still have more movies and concerts planned. I also want to venture to a farmer’s market outside my home base (out on the Peninsula perhaps?)

I want to enjoy my summer. It’s such a nice time here in the Seattle-area.

June 2012 Monthly Quote

Don’t be

pushed

by your

problems,

be led

by your

dreams

— Proverb

I have been looking at that every day for nearly a month now. Today, this morning, my brain flipped it over to not be pushed by my dreams but led by my problems. What sort of mental challenge is that? I could rattle off all sorts of things to deal with, my brain feels full. Yet when I actually sit down to write down the things I perceive to be in my way (let’s be clear here, my To-Do list) I’m drawing a blank.

I have said to Norman a few times that we need a wife. Someone to do those errands and extra chores that make me nutty and feel like a drag. I already pay to get my house cleaned and my lawn mowed. My therapist is encouraging me to expand my list to things like the dry cleaners, fixing burnt out lights, and uh…um…see, this is where I get stuck.

Although, quite honestly, some of it is control. Like the laundry – that has to be done a certain way. And truth be told, I like doing the laundry. Folding in relaxing, particularly while watching Cupcake Wars on Sunday night. So laundry, outside of towels and sheets, won’t likely make the list.  So if I spend a few minutes brainstorming…grocery shopping (maybe, Norman really enjoys this), post office, dry cleaner, “essentials” list, replace light bulbs, paint the walls, organize the cupboards (including getting rid of crap), … then there are the items that may be a bit more difficult, wash the dishes (requires daily visit), make doctor appointments (privacy concerns) – gah! I need some clean space to work on this, visualization or something.

Do you pay anyone to do stuff for you? Is there something you would love to pay someone to do, but don’t, to suggest and get me going?

I’m signing off now, and going to the gym. That is one thing I don’t want to outsource, the gym.

Most days anyway

May 2012 Monthly Quote

Life

begins

at

the

end

of

your

comfort

zone

– Neale Donald Walsch –

Today that is feeling a bit hard to swallow. The last few weeks I’ve been working on scrubbing my space, clearing paths and making progress. More so in my personal life as my work life is an hour-by-hour hodge podge of Groundhog’s Day scenario (on the bright side, it is sliding off my back more easily than it has in quite awhile)

Today I feel heavy. Maybe it’s the lack of enthusiasm I have for my job right now. Where I spend most of my waking hours? I’m burnt out on this project, I’m burnt out with the Groundhog’s Day world that this project has morphed into. I’m ready for something new. People know I’m ready for something new. When I go have talks about something New, it helps to re-energize me and move forward. I think I’ll go put some time on my calendar to take a step every day – whether it’s reading the job board, having a coffee or lunch, or researching an area of the business that interests me. It’s time to move forward.

For now though, at 2pm on this Friday afternoon, I’m shutting down and heading to Seattle. I think I’ll go do some shopping or something before my haircut. Then it’s book club. I always enjoy book club. I imagine I’ll be laughing a lot tonight and that will help re-energize me too!

That reminds me, in January my New Year’s resolution was to allow myself Grace. I think this is a perfectly example to embrace that Grace and run with it. Or stroll. Whatever feels comfortable you know?