Be Kind to Yourself

The best session I went to this week at the Women’s Conference was entitled “Commit, Create, Catalyze” led by Nan Crawford. A few things she spoke about stuck with me, probably the most profound was “Be Kind to Yourself”. She told a story of how close she is with her parents. How every time she talks to her dad on the phone or sees him, instead of saying good-bye, he says to her “Be kind to yourself”. It seems so simple, and yet is so hard.

Like many other motivational-type speakers, she remarked on how hard we are on ourselves. Seriously, what I tell myself in my head, if I ever spoke those words to another human being, I would have no friends. No second guessing that at all. Still, here I am saying those things to myself.

I was saying to Norman this morning that I need to adopt that in my life. I think I’ll make little notes to put places like my mirror, wallet, maybe the back ground on my phone? If I see it enough, maybe I’ll start acting that way.  More importantly, I think it’s something I should say to my kid every day. She already is such a perfectionist, so much like her mom and dad. If I can start that tape in her head now at 8? By the time she hits 40 it would be a whole different mindset. I hope.

So, here I go.

Be Kind to Yourself.

Open Mouth, Insert Leg

I have been attending the Microsoft Women’s Leadership Conference the last two day.  It’s the fourth time I’ve gone, and the first time I’ve been underwhelmed. I did see two very good sessions today, so that likely makes up for the others. I’ve been chewing on one participant’s comment all day long, the longer I think, the more irritated I am.

This is also the first time I have seen so many men at the conference.  I only mention this as the participant I just mentioned is one. A man.

This morning Steve Ballmer came and did an interview-type discussion to kick off the day. Good questions, mostly good responses, and then time to open it up to questions from the audience.

A man was up at the microphone and asked two questions.  The more relevant one was about succession planning and how many women are on the executive plan. Great question, impressive. But…  The other question.  He asked Steve, of all the conferences and opportunities he is offered over the year, why did he pick the Microsoft Women’s Conference?


I’m sorry, WHAT?!

It was an odd response in the room. The air wasn’t sucked out, no collective gasp, no rousing emotion or “bitch” from all the (women) people surrounding him. It was more of an awkward – Wait. Did he really just say that? Did you hear that? ‘Cause I heard it!

It was a good response from Steve – who was very honest that he doesn’t own his calendar, the team and business managers around him own it. And if they tell him it is important, he knows it is important and therefore he attends.

Wow – how demoralizing. I’m still a bit irritated the question was even asked. Given the room dynamic, and how Steve responded to the question, I’m not sure the participant “got” it. I didn’t see him again once we disbanded from the room. But maybe, hopefully, some other person pulled him aside to give an insight into how he may have been perceived. By many.