Black & Blue All Over

Today marks 2 weeks from my surgery

A week ago I was 50 different shade of bruising.  Really sore.  Trying to get my head around the reality of my health, the continuing pain and soreness.  Let alone functioning like a human after a week of pain meds and recovery.  Lots to weigh on my mind.  Also had my follow up appointment to remove the stitches and have a final check up.  That went well, healing was going as it should.  New bandage, final recommendations.  Lastly, direction to have another ultrasound in 3-4 months to make sure it’s all gone.

Today, the bruising is mostly gone.  Still there and visible.  Even my kid is commenting about how I look better – but “still all bruisy mommy”.  Feeling better each day.  Working out again – even running!  It’s still weird.  Surreal. 

As I look in the mirror, inspect in my typical OCD fashion, I’m having a panic that something was missed.  It’s very likely the scar that is forming and will remain a “lump” to the touch.  There is that lingering fear that I’ll go into surgery again.  Perhaps I’m just too close to recent events to think rationally on it.  Maybe I should just shut down this computer, go to the grocery store, and have a glass of wine with dinner.

Maybe it’s just a wake up call to start regularly engaging in all those maintenance-type activities like flossing and nasal washes and vitamins.  More so – to chill the F-out!

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