Stupid Things – The Sanitary Oxymoron

If you haven’t heard, don’t closely follow Microsoft or otherwise care…recently the company has taken on a Green/Environmental Strategy approach to reducing our imprint on the earth. 

I heralded the announcement to replace all cups, plates & bowls with compostable varieties.  Rejoiced in the corn-based utensils which are the thorn in many sides (the new “towel” issue).  I was exuberant to hear the cooking oil in all our gazillion cafes would go to bio-diesel.  And let’s not forget the countless Pri-I shuttling employees around campus so we don’t use our own cars.

Then a month or so ago, we got the announcement about the hand dryers.  I was honestly not excited by this.  In any fashion.  I believe I even groaned.  You see, I’m one of those obsessive germ-a-phobes of public bathrooms.  I flush with my foot (i.e. shoe).  I get towels before touching the faucet, leave the water running while I scrub & dry, then turn it off with the used towel when done.  I take that same towel to open the door and throw out the towel elsewhere.  I’ve been known to return to a table at a restaurant with the towel and wrap it up inside my napkin.

You might be laughing at me now.  But actually SAW with my OWN eyes TODAY – a woman that walked out without washing her hands.  ARGHHH!!!

Anyhoo…I’m getting to the oxymoron, promise.

The hand dryer went into the women’s restroom in my building on my floor 2 weeks ago.  It’s one of those new-fangled Dyson kind.  The super dryer that doesn’t use as much electricity as the kind Madonna used to dry her pits back in the 80s (obscure reference).  I used it once or twice since then.  Pulling my shirt sleeve over my hand to open the door.  Kinda defeats the cleanliness purpose huh?  The original towel dispenser is still there.  Looking with shame at those of us too good or lazy or paranoid to use the Dyson thing.

Today, Monday, I walk into the bathroom and notice a NEW towel dispenser.  On the wall.  Right before the door.  As if to say, “Good job for using the automated hand dryer.” brief pause, “Now, take one of me so you don’t have to soil your freshly washed hands with a diseased door handle.” 

Really?  …  Really?!

Someone should get demerits for this.

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