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November 3, 2009

November Quote While Taking Baby Steps

Posted by jenniferlg under mental health, think about this, wellness
[2] Comments 

This month’s Quotable Calendar wisdom…

may your life be crowded with unexpected joys 
h. jackson brown jr.

My initial reaction to that is – my life is already crowded, so where is the joy? 

Oh poor me!  Let’s have a pity party for the busy, career mom.  sigh…so OLD news!  Besides, I don’t want to have a pity party.  I want to have a move forward party.  I’m saying baby steps.  That is just enough.  If my baby step is to walk away from my desk for 30 minutes a day to read a book, so be it.  If my other baby step is to scheduled “white space” during my week to do whatever the hell I want when that time arrives, so be it.

Last week I spent two days at the Microsoft Women’s Leadership & Development Conference. (or MSWoCo for those of you following me on twitter) It was pretty intense.  Think 2 days of personal development courses, networking, tips n’ tricks for forward progress at Microsoft.  Tuesday night I was spent.  By Wednesday afternoon I could barely speak complete sentences. 

My brain was on fire.  I would not have traded it for anything.

In my early 20’s I spent a considerable amount of time and money learning how to move through doors and walls I saw as roadblocks in my life.  Individual therapy, group therapy, Context Associated, support groups, like-minded people…  By my late 20’s I was in a pretty good space.  I had a great network around me.  Relatively happy in my job (great mentor/boss)  I went on a dating spree that led me to Norman (my spouse). 

My early 30’s were spent learning about love, relationships and my own commitment issues.  I also got married.  Had a kid.  Bought a house, bought a car, returned to work (isn’t this a TV commercial?) got promoted, got a new job, kid started school…  I found myself in a routine.  Whoops!  What happened to me in all that planning and scheduling?  I saw a therapist for awhile that talked to me about recharging my batteries.  Things like “nights off” from my family and house, “single girl weekends”, girls night out, book club, spa visits, reading, boundaries, etc etc etc.

Yep.  So…

That rejuvenating part continues to be my personal struggle on a daily, hour to hour basis.  For instance, it’s Monday and I have not walked away from my desk to read.  Granted, I am updating my blog instead.  I think about all the stuff that “has” to get done tonight and where I can figure in some time to breathe.  I don’t think I need time management courses, I think I need lessons on how to deal with clutter a little bit longer.  Not days or weeks mind you.  More like, if I don’t clean the dishes tonight, is it really so bad?  They will still be dirty tomorrow (OCD brain kicked right to – sure still dirty, and more difficult to clean).  Yep, this is one place where I need to do some work.

Lastly…so I can speak them all to the world and commit to all you public people out there, here is the list of commitments I made to myself at the conference last week:

    1. Read every day
    2. Schedule White Space, 2-4 hours a week (maybe even during the week when I “should” be working, how novel!)
    3. Look into Jennifer Louden retreats here in WA.
    4. Look into Dr Pamela Peeke Zion retreat.  Particularly since I made that same commitment 2 years ago at the last Women’s Conference

That feels like something I can bite off and maintain…

    1. Already on Jennifer’s mailing list to hear about the next retreat. 
    2. Have looked at Dr Peeke’s site, will sign up on mailing list soon. 
    3. My first White Space time was yesterday.  No agenda, no plan…Stopped…Listened…folded laundry and caught up on Heroes.  Yay!
    4. Reading…been doing well on the personal reading part.  Now to throw in some professional books as well.  How serendipitous that Never Check Email in the Morning by Julie Morgenstern arrived today from the MS Library.

It began last week.  It continues today.

 

October 9, 2009

Breast Cancer Awareness – 2009

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this, wellness
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I think it’s great that Breast Cancer has become a more prominent cause.  Lots of walks and runs and fund raisers.  There is even the Clicks for Free Mammograms.  Sometimes I even quip that men (boob men or not) should be more involved in a cause that would benefit something they hold so dear to their hearts.  Or other body parts.

I’d have to say I’m one of the fortunate ones.  I’m young, I’m healthy, I take good care of myself, I have no history of (breast) cancer in my family.  I really have no reason to worry. 

I had my first mammogram 25 days ago.  It came as a surprise because I went in for something else.  I thought I would have to wait until 40.  Which is really not that far away, certainly closer to 40 than I am to any other age.  It’s another rite of passage.  THE mammogram.  It wasn’t too bad…it certainly puts your breasts in a position that you never thought imaginable.  The mammogram didn’t show anything of concern to the radiologist.  The ultrasound did.

11 days ago I consulted a breast surgeon.  She took the history, she did the exam, she reviewed the films.  The good news?  Only 10-20% of lumps found are cancerous.  My films did not show any typical cancer signs.  Plus the odds are in my favor.  She believed it was fibrosis-something-or-other.  In reviewing all the treatments options – she, Norman and I agreed that it was best to remove it.

3 days ago I had the lump removed.  The following day I got the incredible (relieving) news that it was benign.

All along, I really didn’t feel that it was cancer.  I want to believe it’s because the odds are in my favor.  I also have a tendency to ignore as a coping mechanism.  Either way, it’s still freaky.  Still nerve wracking.  12:15pm – 1:15pm Tuesday was the longest hour of my year – anxiety, nerves, fear and hope.  I never thought the minute would come that they wheeled me into the operating room.  And just like that, it was over.  Ah the miracle of modern drugs.

Now I’m home recovering.  I’ve got my pain killers.  I’ve got some down time that I’ve really needed, naps, reading, bad TV.  Today I’m easing back into the world by working at home and looking forward to book club tonight with my girls. 

As fortunate as I am, it’s still a wake up call.

 

October 1, 2009

October Quote:

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this
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This month’s Quotable Calendar wisdom…

Life is too important to be taken seriously!
Oscar Wilde

Boy do I need to hear that!  Last month was pretty crazy. 

A started 1st grade and we went through 3 colds in 4 weeks starting at our vacation.  We are barely a month in and she has missed 3 days of school.  Really hoping this is it!  No flu, no H1N1, no falls or spills or anything!

Also pretty crazy for me.  It’s one of the busier times at work.  Then some personal stuff that I haven’t decided if I’m going to write about here. 

Or not writing here.  It was my 2009 resolution to maintain this blog more than any other I’ve kept before.  I’m doing better than blogs past, know I can continue to improve my dedication to this one.

So there it is.

Happy October everyone!

 

September 5, 2009

Movie Credits

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this, When I Rule The World
[2] Comments 

Last night Norman and I had a date night while A was at a sleepover.  We had a yummy dinner at Boom Noodle.  Then across the street for District 9 (freaking great movie BTW). 

Here’s my point -

Movie over, and mass exit of the theater.  A few people remained in seats to watch the credits.  Norman and I included.  I cannot remember exactly when I began staying in the theater to watch the credits.  It’s been awhile now.  Believe me, it’s not about the teasers some movies include at the end (think Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Iron Man).

For me, it’s about respect.  Have you ever looked at HOW many people it takes to create a movie.  How many extras may be a part of a production?  ALL the CG/animators/special effects geniuses there are?  Sure – most of what we hear about in the news are the actors, directors and producers.  Even the awards ceremony is done separate from the Oscars or Emmys or whatever awards show.  When they show the clips, you see how proud people are.  They should be – they were involved in creating some spectacular movies. 

Think about it.  Can you spare another 5 minutes of your day to watch the credits?  You can check out the music and perhaps key into that one song during the movie that moved you to tears, or made you want to dance.  Sometimes you see pretty entertaining things like “robot eye mechanics adviser” or “snake charmer” or “no aliens were hurt in the making of this movie”.  I kid you not. 

Try it out.  You may find that you like it.  Come on…everybody’s doing it…

 

September 4, 2009

September Quote:

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this
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This month’s Quotable Calendar wisdom…

DO WHAT
YOU CAN,
WHERE
YOU ARE,
WITH WHAT
YOU HAVE!

~Teddy Roosevelt

Another lesson….

 

August 14, 2009

Social Networking forced my walls down

Posted by jenniferlg under me, think about this
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I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon as I delve more into social networking.  I’m by all accounts an introvert.  Not like I haven’t said that here a gazillion times before…anyway…  I write on this site that publishes to the internets.  I tweet.  I’m on facebook.  I’ve recently stepped out of my introverted-comfort zone to attend events like BowlHer and Ignite.  And believe me those in-person events can make me break out into a cold sweat!  These have been more on the “safe” side, no heart palpitations, no wilting flowers…actually putting myself out there, scars and all!  Making an effort to put my foot forward first, initiate a conversation, ask questions more than listen.  It can be exhausting by the end of the day.  I am getting a sense of satisfaction there so it must be doing something for me. (I can hear my husband cheering this realization as I type this)

Particularly in regards to Twitter – people that follow me, friends on facebook (where my tweets auto-publish) talk to me about how funny some of my comments are.  Or that they didn’t know that about me.  Or how brutally honest I am.  Or that I published a really interesting article.  Or a funny video. Or…Or…OR!

These are thoughts and feelings and experiences that I typically don’t share with anyone but close, close friends.  Most of those people on Twitter following me or facebook “friends” aren’t the close ones.  I haven’t seen or talked to them since High School, only share snarky comments about work or news or politics, share useless facebook quiz results and Remember When stories…  Some of them are even complete strangers! 

They know more about me than I would otherwise share until doors are willingly opened to come inside my walls.  Layer by layer.  Over time.

This bothered me for all of 10 seconds. 

Then I thought – Fuck It.  So what if people can see into me more quickly?  It’s all out there.  It won’t change who I am or what I’ll say or do.  Maybe it makes things easier.  Maybe it weeds out the Don’t-Wants even faster. 

It’s who I already am in a whole new world of connection and communication. 

I’m still an introvert. 

Maybe you will understand a bit more of me in the process.

Take me or leave me – here I am!

 

August 4, 2009

August thought:

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this
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I have a Quotable Calendar hanging in my office.  I like turning to a new month and see what kind of wisdom I’ll be pondering the next few weeks.  Today – got in and swtiched it up for August:

open your eyes
to the beauty around you,

open your mind
to the wonders of life,

open your heart
to those who love you,

and always
be true to yourself.

~donna davis

I think there is a lesson for me in there.

 

July 31, 2009

Giving up on Green?

Posted by jenniferlg under think about this
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So – seems I was not the only OCD sanitary freak believer here at Microsoft. (side note, Word does not supply any synonyms for freak – is that the PC thing to do?)  In case you need a refresher – I ranted 3 months ago on the insanity of installing new paper towel dispensers a couple of weeks after installing hand dryers based on Green initiatives at the company.

So a few weeks ago I enter the restroom to see the Dyson dryer has been ripped from the wall! (embellishing just a bit)  There has been a hole in the wall since then.  Yesterday, I noticed the spackle.  Today, the wall has been painted and ready for more wallpaper.

I wonder what led to the waste of purchasing hand dryers for multiple bathrooms on multiple floors of multiple buildings…only to remove them so quickly.  Were they a loaner?  Was it a test model that Dyson is now improving upon?  Given the hole/patch project, I’m thinking no.

So sad.  So wasteful.

 

July 29, 2009

Alienating Advertising

Posted by jenniferlg under feminist thoughts, Go Write A Letter, think about this
[2] Comments 

I love loved a Klondike bar.  The last month of my pregnancy I ate one every day.  There was NO substitute (as my husband found out the hard way).  6 years later, not sure how many times I’ve had one.  Regardless, there is was a special place in my heart for a Klondike Bar.

I was on some website this morning.  Not sure which one.  That doesn’t matter.  There was a display ad for Klondike Bars.  It had some flashy animation thing, and I saw something about more chocolate.  Knowing how much I have enjoyed them in the past – I clicked on the link.

klondike

See that highlight?  The one about the “Man Cave”?  Sure, I clicked it.  Sadly, the deeper you go into the cave, the more offensive it is to me as a Woman.  Here are a few highlights…

  1. How about that moose head?  This Guy has known it longer than “your girl” – really?
  2. “Khaki Pants Pete” – oh jeez, it is SO hard being a man, being nagged all the time by your wife, life is so fucking hard, then you have to drop off the sitter, but also get a “gift” for the bachelor party, so do you go to the sex shop first then drop off the sitter?  Can you say harassment?!
  3. “Michael Ian Black” TV – different vignettes on what a guy would do for a Klondike bar.  This riled me up the most! Women in French maid costumes serving a bar and getting an ass goggling?  They guy agrees to kiss the next woman coming out of the gym, after a parade of well toned, pretty girls in work out wear – the next one out the door is an older, heavy set, homely looking woman. That he kisses on the cheek.

klondike3klondike2

  klondike4klondike5

I tweeted a fail on Klondike for the Man Cave.  I got a response back that asked what I would do for a Klondike Bar.  Are they kidding me?!?!  So I tweeted back to them that they are missing the point.  They have alienated half their audience.  Would you want to support a product that had very little regard for women.  I haven’t heard anything back.

I get that people are tired of the whole PC environment.  I get that many women would not find this offensive.  I get that many (most?) guys don’t see the problem here…  It matters to me.  I have friends with a similar mind set that would support me.  All it takes is one voice…

What would you do?  Think about it.

 

May 14, 2009

Sanity Hacks of (fill in the blank) Mom

Posted by jenniferlg under children, family, feminist thoughts, mental health, parenting, think about this, work
[2] Comments 

First and foremost – my friend Jen did a presentation at Ignite Seattle!  She deserves credit for the inspiration of this post.  Particularly since she did all the work anyway!

The last time Jen and I got together we had a chat about the Stay At Home Mom versus Employed Career Mom… 

sidebar – what the hell do you call mom’s that work at companies that pay them salaries and give benefits and such for their work?  because SAHMs – they *are* working moms too, so it doesn’t quite feel right to label myself that. and by no means do I imply a SAHM isn’t employed or have a career.  let’s not rat hole here shall we?

Our discussion was around this unspoken/spoken/ignored/acknowledged divide between the two types of moms.  Particularly seen in the Mommy Blog space.  Seems each camp has some beef with the other.  Making judgments about not being a good mom, setting the wrong example for the children, blah blah blah.  Gawd almighty!!  Do women need yet another category to create a chasm between us?  Can’t we support each other in choice?  Believe you and me – I could not do what SAHMs do. I totally respect women that raise their families in that fashion. 

So I watched the video the day it was published.  I really enjoyed Jen’s approach and her thoughts on sanity hacks.  I thought about it through the day, how particular passages were not only funny, but SO freaking true!  Example – I have seen Finding Nemo so many times, there have been entire screenings that I only watched one character the entire time.  Boy those Pixar people are masters at their craft!

The next day I had a different thought.

I could take that same deck, change up the pictures, replace one or two words – and do the presentation from the Employed Career Mom point-of-view. Really, each thing Jen focuses on to stay sane, I do the same thing to some degree.  The story would just be a bit modified.

Can we stop fighting against each other and start fighting together?

Maybe then – we can unite and get some REAL food in the school lunches.  Not the pre-packaged crap they serve now.  Maybe we could pool resources and networks and make the PTA unstoppable.  We should all show up at Olympia (or your respective capitals) and demand the kinds of laws, programs and initiatives that will protect our families, enrich our lives – and not have to battle for every 4 years or every budget shortfall.  (don’t get me started – school budget is another post all together!)

So really girls – we aren’t all that different are we?  Just stop and think about it ok?

 

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